lessons from the “FNG”

Ah, the first day on the job.  The excitement.  The enthusiasm.  The validation of winning/surviving the interview process.  I’ve seen a lot of “first days” not only as a consultant but as senior management watching new hires walk through the door.  I always want the first day to be perfect because first impressions really do count - a lot is at stake.  This person has obviously left a steady pay-cheque to come to a new pay-cheque and they want to feel good about that decision and put their best foot forward.  But I also know that small companies don’t necessarily have the resources, time, or place the importance on that first day experience which is a shame.

have you had a less than stellar first day on the job?

Ya, you know what I’m talking about: no training on the company product offering, hiring manager not there when you arrive, desktop/laptop not configured and ready to go, you have no idea where the bathroom is let alone how to get your morning coffee and you are staring out at a ton of people you don’t know like a socially awkward conference reception.  It rattles your confidence.  It makes you question your decision.  But you have hope and are willing to give a bit.  I’ve always brushed off this first day less than optimal experience as the price of working for a small company.  They’ll understand.  It’s charming.  But then I was the “FNG”

what is F.N.G.?  The Fucking New Guy.

I recently started work at a winery, with no experience, and on my first day on the job it was, uhm ya, less than stellar.  The winemaker didn’t explain anything: the process, what my part was, how it fit into the bigger scheme, the resources I would be required to have/use, what was expected of me.  What he did offer was his motivational speech, or corporate values:

“Let’s get this clear, FNG - you don’t think.  You don’t speak.  You focus.  Fo-cus!  FOCUS!  Everything that goes wrong is your fault ’cause you’re the FNG.  Whether you fucked it up or not, it’s your fault.  Got it, FNG?  This is just like war.”

Right then.  Now that he’s made it clear I’ve got to get all GI Jane, with my new title of FNG, I know exactly what is expected of me. I’m going to rock this mo-fo of a job and prove to him that I’m the best FNG there is!  No training required.  How hard can it be?

My confidence was rattled in the first 5 minutes: I was given quality control on the bottling line to take my ego down a notch and realize that it was really hard and did require an element of experience.  I was quickly demoted to an easier task (strapping closed case boxes).

how could they have made this first day better?

If the winemaker had simply: introduced me to the team, walked me through the assembly line and explained what each role was, showed me the optimal way to inspect the bottles (quality control) so I could mimic best practices, explained how many cases we were going to bottle and where we were in the wine making process it would’ve changed everything.  A 30 minute conversation would have turned a demoralizing experience (which made me question why I had left my perfectly good CFO job) into one where I would feel empowered, contributing, doing my part for a small winery.

What should new hire training, orientation, or the latest fad term: “on-boarding”, include?

Just like above, the elements are pretty much the same for any industry:

• provide key information about the company, products, services, composition, etc.;
• make the person feel welcome and good about the role they’ve just started;
• review the cultural values of the company so a new hire can fit in quickly (preferable not in the army commander version I got);
• assign a “mentor” or buddy on day one so they feel comfortable asking questions;
• give clear direction of what is expected of them and the overall objectives;
• have their work environment set up and ready to go;
• provide any skills training if required;
• review paperwork/benefits (everyone wants to know how they are going to get paid and how their benefits work).

By following these simple first day rules you can win a new hire over quickly and gain their trust/respect with your own conduct.  They feel good and you get a happy, fully-functioning staff member who is excited to come back for day 2.

I’m still the FNG.  I wear my title with pride … they’ll be t-shirts made shortly.  But never again will I brush off spending time with a new hire on day one.  I’ve spent so much time as management/consultant, I forgot what it was like to be staff.  That is a shame.